Speaking Up and Speaking Out

A friend of mine reminded me of a time I worked up all the courage I had and got up on a stage in front of about 200 plus women and told of some of the most private horrifying things that had happened to me. I was inspired to share this by a woman I had heard speak on that same stage a year prior. For those that are close to me, they know that it is hard for me to speak one on one with a person or simply be in a crowded place, my anxiety usually kicks in and I find the quickest exit. That night though I remember reminding myself how much the woman Joanie’s story changed my life. She gave me the freedom to speak to someone about what had happened to me, and to begin a journey to healing.

I didn’t realize it fully at the time but I wasn’t opening up about everything but it was a amazing start and I was gaining strength that would later help me make decisions that would make my life and my children’s lives so much better. (we will save that for another post) I have found my silly, happy, goofy side again. 🙂 12108835_10207669333952010_7935439574138426038_nHowever I would come to realize later as weeks went by my journey that I had lived through and come out of on the other side and placed me on that stage that day had also placed me in front of a few women who were right were I was the year before. I had a young teen girl approach me and ask to speak with me about something she had gone though, a week or so later I met a woman who would later become one of my best friends, her daughter insisted she needed to get to know me that our stories were to similar that it was a sign….boy was it because I would swear we are sisters. LOL

To often woman go through abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse and they don’t speak up, they don’t speak out, they blame themselves, they think they deserved it, if only they had handled the situation different then it wouldn’t have happened, if they didn’t drink that night then it wouldn’t have happened. Ladies these are not excuses for men or boys to take advantage or abuse you. We as women want to fix, mend, help and in turn we put ourselves and our happiness on the back burner…..ultimately this can cost us our lives. Don’t be embarrassed or afraid, your friends probably already know and want to help, but you need to go to them, trust me they are there and they will help.

In closing the woman I mentioned in the beginning who helped me to find strength by sharing her story is still sharing her story and bringing awareness to women. Along with her is the amazing Hahn Team who are offering FREE self defense classes. I am including a link to a news story that was on locally here last night and a link to the Hahn Facebook page. Please take a moment and check out these links.

https://www.facebook.com/sarah.maness.1/videos/629426073866936/?pnref=story

https://www.facebook.com/arnoldhahnmartialarts/?fref=ts

Those Days When You Can’t Wrap Your Head Around All That Is Happening

I think everyone has these days. One thing after another keeps going wrong, you stop and think…”seriously could anything else go wrong?” and then of course it does.

Here’s the thing though, can you change it? Can you honestly have changed any one of those things that have happened that day? The answer is probably no. So in that case what do you do? Do you let it control your emotions and take you down for the day, the next day, the next week…or do you just realize crap happens that is out of our control and that everything will work itself out in due time.

We have all had many storms in our lives and we are still here….why? Because we made it though those storms day by day, moment by moment. As we grow though we get to decide not to hide in our anger, sadness and pity and just decide ok this happened, I can’t change it and it will all work out the way it should. Letting go and not trying to control things releases a anxiety that takes over our mind and body. It’s freeing to do this!

This doesn’t just go for small storms, it goes for those big storms too, the ones that shake us to our core. In fact I am facing a few of those right now. I can feel overwhelmed like I have in the past, I can cry non stop, hide from the world or I can order Chinese food, have a movie night with my kiddo, laugh, cuddle and know that no matter what it will all work out just as it should.

We all have choices, sometimes in the middle of these storms it is hard to see that we have the choice to just let go and let it work itself out, but we truly do and it is more freeing than I can ever explain. It isn’t easy, every time one of the thoughts of the storm pops in my head I have to stop myself and remind myself that this is handled, the truth will set us all free, that there is a rainbow at the end of every storm but I am retraining my brain to do so and again it is freeing me from an anxiety that in the past ran my every single day life.

I still have bad moments, it doesn’t fix everything, but it is a good place to start.

Much love everyone.

Live, Laugh, Love