Breaking The Generational Cycle 

Let’s talk about generational cycles and how the circle of abuse in families begins and sadly continues. As an adult I have learned that my parents, grandparents and great grandparents all came from abusive situations. They also had or lived with someone who had some form of mental health issues (Bi-Polar, Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety, PTSD, Schizophrenia, Multiple Personality Disorder, OCD ect.)
Mental illness often leads to substance abuse as a way to escape what they are feeling, alcohol or drugs become their way of numbing everything. Physical and emotional abuse is one of the #1 reasons for substance abuse. 

What a tragic combination my family was dealing with from the beginning, a explosive one when you stop to think about it. 

We were all taught at a very young age not to speak about the things going on in our home, those were private matters. We spent most of our younger years around family so all we knew was this disfunction, to me that was what the whole world was like. It was normal to see my mother wave a knife at my father, or my father throw a beer bottle at my mother slicing her arm and everything was fine that same evening. These things that are very scary to others were “normal” to me. Imagine also that not only was I taught that we do not speak about these private matters but every generation was brought up this way. 

Since no one is allowed to speak about the happenings in their homes, no one is able to get help or even realizes they need help for the deep rooted issues they are facing. This right here is how the circle begins.

So the circle begins and sadly the person has no idea that the violence they have lived, seen, and survived this far is not the normal way of life. Imagine for a moment this is all you have ever known, therefore this is all you honestly believe the world has to offer. You may realize the strong anxiety and depression you feel isn’t how everyone else seems to feel but you have no idea how to go about fixing it. Remember you can’t talk about the happenings in your home, or family or things from your childhood. 

So you are a grown up now and looking for a life partner, you pair up with someone who is similar to you right? That is what everyone looks for in a partner….similar interest, similar family beliefs and so on. Here enters the circle, the pattern, the generational cycle of abuse.
Here is where my journey takes a turn. I looked at my children and my life, I take a deep breath and realize I am deep in the circle. I was uknowningly teaching my kids the cycle. I REFUSED to let that be the life my children lived and I began to realize I deserved so much more out of this beautiful thing called life! So began our journey. 

Right now as I post this publicly, as I hit that publish button, I am taking a deep breath and knowing I am…

  • BREAKING THE SILENCE 
  • BREAKING THE CHAINS
  • BREAKING THE CIRCLE 
  • FREEING MYSELF 
  • FREEING MY CHILDREN

We all have a voice and we all have a right to use it. Never let someone silence you, never let someone dull your sparkle. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. ❤

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Where do you begin when life has given you so much to share?

Life teaches you so many things. Through the bad you learn how much strength you have, and to appreciate the good times all the more. Through the good times life teaches you to stop, breath in the aroma around you, laugh and enjoy all that is happening in that moment. 
I sometimes think life threw so much at me with a purposeful force. As if I was meant to write a book, or hell maybe a soap opera 😂. The more I share the more you may begin to understand that last sentence.

 I have written so many post through the last 3 years and deleted them. I have felt as if even though I made choices that set me free from things that were toxic I still had long chains attached with giant locks preventing me from being completely free. Free to speak openly without a filter for fear of backlash, free in a sense that I didn’t have to take extra precautions to secure mine and my children’s safety. Free to just be the me I have always been and free to speak my truth even if that truth isn’t an easy one to speak. 

I have broken these giant locks on these long chains and now slowly I am breaking each link of the chain by putting a voice to the silence.